There’s a buzz in the neighborhood and it’s about Mister Rogers. Between last year’s documentary Won’t You Be My Neighbor, this year’s movie A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood, and the hours of interviews available on YouTube there is plenty of this man to soak in. And if you get started, be careful, because you are likely to do just that. There is something captivating about him. What is it, one wonders. Is it his soft spoken cadence? Is it his fixation on love and kindness? His ability to embrace an awkward silence? It could be all of those, but I think there is something more important, something under the surface that, in today’s world, is easy to forget but which we all know, somewhere deep down, is the truth.
“It’s really easy to fall into the trap of believing that what we do is more important than what we are. Of course, it’s the opposite that’s true: What we are ultimately determines what we do!” – Fred Rogers
I’ve watched a lot of Mister Rogers on Youtube. Did I cry, you ask? At Mr. Rogers?! Please. Maybe. What’s striking about this man who entered television because he felt it must be better than what it was, who secured $20 million from the United States Congress in just six minutes, who filmed 895 episodes of his children’s program, who became a nation’s favorite neighbor is this: he seemed to truly believe that to be an amazing, valuable person, you don’t need to do anything. Sit with that for a moment, in awkward silence.
Now come back. There’s more.
In one interview Rogers was asked how many children he thought he had affected. He did not hesitate: “I don’t care how many,” he said. Then continued: “We get so wrapped up in numbers in our society. The most important thing is that we are able to be one-to-one, you and I with each other at the moment. If we can be present to the moment with the person that we happen to be with, that’s what’s important.” It’s a beautiful sentiment, probably enough all by itself.
Hold on though. There’s more.
Both movies about Fred Rogers go out of their way to mention that he swam every morning at the local pool. After these sessions he would weigh himself and every morning his weight would be 143 pounds. 143, Mister Rogers would say, is a special number because it takes one letter to say “I”, four to say “love”, and three to say “you”. The man exercised, maintained his weight, and yet once again it seemed not to be about him. Like always, it’s about you. He weighs 143 so he can send you a coded “I love you.” Who thinks like this? Mister Rogers does.
You might find the “I love you” anecdote a little nauseating—reading it here anyway— but if you watch Mister Rogers yourself, I think you’ll notice that there is something intangible about him which makes it receivable. There is a compelling quality that you can’t quite put your finger on, but which seems to make all his thoughts, feelings, and actions believable. What gets into your soul when Fred Rogers speaks is that he seems to be fully himself and, more importantly, he seems to feel that being himself with you is the most important thing he could be doing. And if I may be so bold, I think there is something one step deeper about that which really gets to a lesson we all need to hear much more often: Mister Rogers believed that he was enough—period.
“I don’t think anyone can grow unless he’s loved exactly as he is now, appreciated for what he is rather than what he will be.” – Fred Rogers
All too often, health and fitness embodies everything that Mister Rogers was not. With so much media at our fingertips comes ever increasing opportunity to compare ourselves to others and decide we come up short. There is always something else that we we should be, some other person, some other body. More than that, it isn’t enough just to be better, we also have to show as many people as possible how much we’ve achieved, which we hope is more than average. We need to be influencers. We need to change the world.
While striving for more can push us to be better, it can also just as easily get in the way. It can be stressful, anxiety provoking, and demotivating. Worst of all, it can steal your ability to appreciate all the things you have already achieved. It holds your health and wellness back, rather than moving it forward.
If Mister Rogers was a personal trainer, here’s what I think we would get from him. I think he would tell us, in his own way, that our body doesn’t need to look any way than the way it does. He’d tell us that we are enough, right now. As our sessions went on, I think he’d help us realize that believing we’re enough already actually creates a foundation for real change. He’d note that letting go of the need to look better, perform higher, and outcompete others frees us up to focus on being the most of what we are, which, paradoxically, is what sparks real change to take place. Then I think he’d remind us that the people on facebook, twitter, or instagram are not as important as the ones right in front of us. He’d ask us to think more about who we are with the people we are really with. He’d point out that, probably, they already think we’re pretty ok and that if we can believe it too, then it will be so. Then he’d look at us, in awkward silence.