A post went viral this past week on LinkedIn. It had enough gravitas that it caught the attention of the Washington Post, which is where I encountered it. The post is called “It’s Later Than You Think,” and it is about the death of an eight-year-old whose father, a successful tech entrepreneur, is left to ponder whether at least a portion of his time spent building a business might have been better spent building more memories with the son who is now gone. I was on my way to work, thinking about this sentiment, when I passed by the entrance to a spin cycling studio. As a young woman rushed in, coffee in hand, cell-phone pressed precariously between her ear and the overstuffed bag on her shoulder, I caught a glimpse of the slogan painted on the wall just inside the door. It read: “Never Coast.”
Take Your Foot Off The Gas
I would venture to say that one of the reasons this LinkedIn post has gone viral is because a great many people can instantly identify with the sentiments this father is expressing. At its core, his essay is a call to awareness, asking the reader to step back and evaluate whether they are spending their time mindfully, or whether they are being swept away in a culture that tends to glorify productivity over perspective. It’s a valid question.
Health and fitness is one area of life that, if we do it well, could move us closer to the place that this grieving father wants us to go. Consider, for example, the “never coast” sign at the entrance to the spin studio. We all understand part of the sentiment—the encouragement to work hard, to drive towards self improvement, to make the most of each day. That’s a message that fitness leans into heavily and which is meant to motivate. There is, however, another unintended side of the message—never slow down, never take a break, never consider something to be good enough.
People who have success in their fitness endeavors don’t get caught up in that side of the message. Instead of viewing exercise as something driven purely by intensity, successful exercisers come to see a workout as simply one day in the course of a program, which is only one part of a health regimen for the year, which is only one year out of a lifetime of healthy living. That bigger picture approach can have a variety of benefits which, in the long run, bring better results. Understanding that not every workout has to be at one hundred percent can go a long way in preventing injuries, overtraining, and fitness burnout, for example. Being willing to take a day off here or there, especially if what you really need is an extra hour of sleep, can make you healthier than the exercise actually would. Taking a vacation without worrying about access to a gym can be liberating, really helping to lower your feelings of stress, as a vacation should. In essence, sometimes what promotes health is allowing yourself to take your foot off the gas, even (and sometimes especially) in the gym.
Find More Perspective
At the end of “It’s Later Than You Think,” the father relates an anecdote about his surviving son. He mentions that one night, after the death of his brother, the boy comes in to his father’s office to ask if he can have some screen time. Because of the loss of his other son, the father says that instead of simply saying ‘no’ to the boy, as he might have in the past, he asks if he can play with him instead. His son finds this to be a great idea and the new approach leads to an evening of bonding that, the father tells us, he would otherwise never have had.
While a trip to the gym is hardly the kind of transformative experience that losing a child is, it can be a place to find perspective. For example, it’s important to really think about the reasons you want to be exercising, particularly the ones that go beyond just the aesthetic changes. The people who are most able to stick to their health resolutions do so because they have this understanding. Older adults often realize that youth and beauty are no longer as high a priority for them as staying functional is. Middle-aged people sometimes realize that they want to make sure they have the option of reaching old age. Parents might decide that staying in shape is important because of their children. Some people may just want to build more self-esteem and feel more confident as they work towards other goals. Others just want to be part of a community. It doesn’t matter what the big picture is, what matters is that it goes beyond the feeling that one must be bigger, faster, leaner, or stronger simply because society often makes us believe that more is better. When you find that higher purpose, you’ll be surprised how much more dedicated you can be to your health and wellness.
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While fitness, like society at large, tends to be all about pushing, the fact is pushing just as often leads us nowhere. Those who take a moment to step back, take in the big picture, and decide what matters and what doesn’t, have more success.